The Return Of Lasagna-gate

The Return Of Lasagna-gate

Many Spurs fans will nod sagely at the amazing row which has broken out in the U.S, as New York State Attorney General and candidate for Governor Andrew Cuomo has become embroiled in a sticky situation involving Lasagna.

The dish is reportedly Cuomo's favorite. His partner Sandra Lee, a TV host, apparently makes it with tinned tomato soup and cottage cheese - what some may call an unusual choice of ingredients. On hearing of this, Cuomo's mother weighed into the debate, and unwittingly damaged her son's campaign by criticising his wife's culinary skills. Matilda Cuomo is apparently quoted as saying, "Maybe she puts cottage cheese in because he doesn't want to put on weight. That's not the way you make a lasagna."

As politicians do, Cuomo immediately swung into damage control mode: "On this issue, I’m going to be very, very careful," he said in a radio interview. "Since the campaign started for me... This is the toughest issue I’ve had to deal with. Lasagna is like politics, everybody gets an opinion... Everybody’s right, nobody’s wrong."

He could almost be a TalkSport presenter. It is truly all about opinions...

Then, in an almost Beckham-esque touch of blandness, of the kind footballers have been media-trained to use, Cuomo continued: "Sandy’s cooking is very good cooking. My mother’s cooking is very good cooking. As an independent Democrat, I eat everybody’s lasagna. I eat conservative’s lasagna. I eat liberal lasagna." The only thing missing from this riposte was a carefully placed "Yeah, you know."

Rewind to 2006.

A Times leader from the period first introduced the world to the damage which can truly be wrought by Lasagna to the modern celebrity:

"Up to ten players are thought to have contracted food poisoning after eating dinner at the Marriott Hotel in Canary Wharf on Saturday night.

When the scale of the outbreak became clear, just hours before they were due to play West Ham in the final game of the season, which would determine whether Spurs or Arsenal claimed the lucrative fourth Champions League place, Tottenham Hotspur contacted police who took the offending food away, believed to be a lasagne dish.

Dr Alex Mellanby, Consultant in Communicable Disease Control at the North East and Central London Health Protection Unit, said: “The symptoms developed by this group of guests may be due to food poisoning or viral gastroenteritis, so we will be working with the football club and the hotel to identify any possible sources. Food samples will be tested as part of the investigations.”

Colin Perrins, Head of Tower Hamlets Trading Standards and Environmental Health, added: “Samples have been taken and are in the process of being analysed at independent government laboratories. We are working closely with the Police, the Health Protection Agency, the football club and the hotel. We will also be engaging with the club and their doctors with a view to obtaining more key information.”

Spurs lost the game 2-1, allowing Arsenal to leapfrog them to finish fourth in the Premiership.

Club officials had tried to get the game delayed for 24 hours, with Martin Jol, the manager, claiming some players were throwing up in the dressing room just minutes before they went onto the pitch..."

Apparently it turned out that Michael Carrick had infected the rest of the group with some illness he was supposedly already carrying. But the damage had already been done, the excuses written, and the fate of then-Spurs manager Martin Jol already decided. He got the sack not long after.

I was reminded of this sorry debate on hearing both the US story and the apparently-unconnected return of Jol to Premiership football via Fulham.

Much goodwill is building behind Jol from clearly-excited Fulham fans, but also much sympathy for him still remains amongst the folk of N17. His potential return should be welcomed. If appointed, clearly, he will want to make changes to the Fulham backroom staff, to give them a chance of being what many Spurs fans still feel the 2006 team could have been - and now Harry Redknapp's 2010 team are.

Perhaps Mrs Lee should be drafted in to do the cooking?