The Return Of Lasagna-gate

The Return Of Lasagna-gate

Many Spurs fans will nod sagely at the amazing row which has broken out in the U.S, as New York State Attorney General and candidate for Governor Andrew Cuomo has become embroiled in a sticky situation involving Lasagna.

The dish is reportedly Cuomo's favorite. His partner Sandra Lee, a TV host, apparently makes it with tinned tomato soup and cottage cheese - what some may call an unusual choice of ingredients. On hearing of this, Cuomo's mother weighed into the debate, and unwittingly damaged her son's campaign by criticising his wife's culinary skills. Matilda Cuomo is apparently quoted as saying, "Maybe she puts cottage cheese in because he doesn't want to put on weight. That's not the way you make a lasagna."

As politicians do, Cuomo immediately swung into damage control mode: "On this issue, I’m going to be very, very careful," he said in a radio interview. "Since the campaign started for me... This is the toughest issue I’ve had to deal with. Lasagna is like politics, everybody gets an opinion... Everybody’s right, nobody’s wrong."

He could almost be a TalkSport presenter. It is truly all about opinions...

Then, in an almost Beckham-esque touch of blandness, of the kind footballers have been media-trained to use, Cuomo continued: "Sandy’s cooking is very good cooking. My mother’s cooking is very good cooking. As an independent Democrat, I eat everybody’s lasagna. I eat conservative’s lasagna. I eat liberal lasagna." The only thing missing from this riposte was a carefully placed "Yeah, you know."

Rewind to 2006.

A Times leader from the period first introduced the world to the damage which can truly be wrought by Lasagna to the modern celebrity:

"Up to ten players are thought to have contracted food poisoning after eating dinner at the Marriott Hotel in Canary Wharf on Saturday night.

When the scale of the outbreak became clear, just hours before they were due to play West Ham in the final game of the season, which would determine whether Spurs or Arsenal claimed the lucrative fourth Champions League place, Tottenham Hotspur contacted police who took the offending food away, believed to be a lasagne dish.

Dr Alex Mellanby, Consultant in Communicable Disease Control at the North East and Central London Health Protection Unit, said: “The symptoms developed by this group of guests may be due to food poisoning or viral gastroenteritis, so we will be working with the football club and the hotel to identify any possible sources. Food samples will be tested as part of the investigations.”

Colin Perrins, Head of Tower Hamlets Trading Standards and Environmental Health, added: “Samples have been taken and are in the process of being analysed at independent government laboratories. We are working closely with the Police, the Health Protection Agency, the football club and the hotel. We will also be engaging with the club and their doctors with a view to obtaining more key information.”

Spurs lost the game 2-1, allowing Arsenal to leapfrog them to finish fourth in the Premiership.

Club officials had tried to get the game delayed for 24 hours, with Martin Jol, the manager, claiming some players were throwing up in the dressing room just minutes before they went onto the pitch..."

Apparently it turned out that Michael Carrick had infected the rest of the group with some illness he was supposedly already carrying. But the damage had already been done, the excuses written, and the fate of then-Spurs manager Martin Jol already decided. He got the sack not long after.

I was reminded of this sorry debate on hearing both the US story and the apparently-unconnected return of Jol to Premiership football via Fulham.

Much goodwill is building behind Jol from clearly-excited Fulham fans, but also much sympathy for him still remains amongst the folk of N17. His potential return should be welcomed. If appointed, clearly, he will want to make changes to the Fulham backroom staff, to give them a chance of being what many Spurs fans still feel the 2006 team could have been - and now Harry Redknapp's 2010 team are.

Perhaps Mrs Lee should be drafted in to do the cooking?

Read More

The Wednesday Of Discontent

The Wednesday Of Discontent

On Wednesday 23 Feb 1972, the schools and workplaces of the city of Sheffield could be said to have undergone the first outbreak of mass truancy they had ever experienced.

This was a period of deep social unrest in Britain: only 3 weeks earlier, the IRA, immediately following Bloody Sunday, had destroyed the British Embassy in Dublin. Only 2 weeks earlier, a national state of emergency had been called by the Conservative government of Edward Heath, following a miners' strike. Unemployment levels had reached 1 million for the first time since the 1930s - and this in a Britain still largely reliant on its factories. The Winter Of Discontent had well-and-truly begun; and all over the country people battened down the hatches for a period of power cuts, no refuse collection, food shortages and terrorist threats.

The people's piss was, to coin a phrase, well and truly boiling, and you could be forgiven for thinking that the above-mentioned absence from work and school was brought on by a sense of localised angst at the prevailing conditions.

In fact, it was actually brought on by one of the few glimmers of sunshine to poke through the unremitting storm clouds of the time.

Pele came to England!

Having been virtually kicked out of the 1966 World Cup, you'd be forgiven for thinking he would have had enough of this country. But, in the midst of this period of deep austerity, almost unfathomably he turned up with his Brazilian club team, Santos, for a series of exhibition matches - the like of which were rarely seen at the time. Remember, unless you'd been to a match in 1966, and because Pele had never at the time played for any other team, there were only two chances of ever seeing him - slim and nil.

This wasn't your two-a-penny superstar footballer like Ronaldo or Torres, who are everywhere, this was a guy of almost legendary status: mystic, exotic, quixotic - seen on black and white bakelites in grainy reproduction, or if you were lucky on some of the early colour sets. But this was Sheffield. I'm surprised there was any newsreel footage of him in existence.

Of course, you had to go. The only problem was that the match was scheduled for 2.30 in the afternoon, due to the power cuts. Some schools, the better ones, didn't even try to stop the kids going. Entire classes were let out, or they just closed for the afternoon.

Not mine.

I begged my dad to go. Of course, he needed to work otherwise we would lose money, and so reluctantly decided it was not going to be possible - and in any case, I should be in school, learning and suchlike.

Reports of the game are interesting. One blogger writes: ' We went to Ecclesfield Comprehensive. It was a cold day, and at 11pm Oggy Jennings (Headmaster) called all the school into the main hall to announce the boilers had packed in. A muted cheer went up inside and a massive cheer outside. So we all got to go. Pele was actually nothing special but I remember Tommy Craig (legendary Wednesday midfielder) sticking to him like glue for the last 5 minutes to get his shirt at the end. There were 45,000+ from what I can remember. My Dad went to Wednesday's previous meeting with Santos (about 10 years earlier) and said Pele took a penalty, one of his shimmies, where he dropped his shoulder. Ron Springett (the hapless Wednesday goalie circa 1962) went the wrong way and Pele rolled it into an empty net.'

Another writes: 'Pele didn't score that day; I can't remember who did. But I can remember that one of their goals came when Grummitt (the hapless Wednesday goalie circa 1972) drop-kicked the ball right at one of their players and it rebounded straight into the net. There had also been a bit of controversy on Santos' tour to that point. A game against Santos was only a draw, crowd-wise, if Pele was playing - and of course they knew it. A few days earlier Santos had played at Villa, if I remember right, and on that occasion, about ten minutes before kick off, Santos had threatened to withdraw Pele from the match if they weren't paid a shed load more. It was common or garden blackmail and, in the circumstances, Villa had no option but to cough up the extra dosh. But their "tactics" were well known before the game in Sheffield so the problem didn't arise.'

A third had an experience similar to, though ultimately more successful than mine: 'It's interesting that a lot of schools closed for the day. Ours didn't. I went to Prince Edward's on Manor Top and me and my mate had to go into the Headmaster's office for permission to go. He said yes provided we were set some homework. Its always been something I've been proud of: I actually saw the great Pele play. Suppose it's the same for everyone. The crowd was huge, which was unusual for Hillsborough in those days. Had to walk all the way back to Pond Street because it was impossible to get on a bus - a long way for a kid. I was knackered!'

Well bully for him. I stayed in school and silently seethed at my dad for what has become about 38 years.

Little did I know that my dad had felt so guilty in the run-up to the game, knowing he couldn't take me, that he had already decided to do something about it.

And so it was, about a month earlier, that I was indeed whipped out of school and taken to see the now-legendary and epic Stoke V West Ham League Cup Semi Final.

I didn't particularly like either team, but it was an amazing thrill to see a Stoke team including the great Gordon Banks take on a Hammers team which included Bobby Moore, Harry Redknapp, Geoff Hurst and the first black player most kids of my age had ever seen, Clyde Best.

The tie turned on a dramatic penalty. Geoff Hurst took a long run-up and should have smashed his shot past Banksy to win the tie for the Hammers and send them to a Wembley final. I can still picture him standing hands on hips before the kick. Hurst’s shot was duly blasted down the middle, but Banks had initially thrown himself to his right, so was already going the wrong way. However, the Stoke keeper was agile enough to twist in midair and fling his left arm up and get a strong fist on the ball to touch it over the bar. It was a save every bit as good as the one from Pele himself in the 1970 World Cup.

On 22 October of that same fateful year, Gordon Banks famously lost his eye in a car crash and retired quickly after.

So I guess that although I missed out on one legend I was lucky enough to see one of the last games of another.

Still haven't forgiven my dad though!

Read More